...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Holy sore nipples Batman
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
