Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
