I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
