i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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