he puts the penis in happiness.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
