I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
