if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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