where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
