4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Randomize