He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
