Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
