I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
