I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
