i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
