i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
