Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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