No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
