Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
