Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
