Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
