That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Shame - the story of my life.
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