if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
