Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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