So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
