Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
