sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Randomize
