no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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