if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
