im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
