Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Randomize
