She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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