Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
