..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Sorry about my life...
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
