Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
