whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
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