She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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