i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
My bed smells like the plague
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
