So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
