It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
