she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
