he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I have aggressive nipples.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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