girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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