I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
