People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
