Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I skipped work to stalk him.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
