apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
