My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
