i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
