I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
