she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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