my mouth tastes like poor choices
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
