I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
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